MORE EDUCATION FOR MASTURBATION

Neither George nor I can remember the first time that we orgasmed, though we are fairly certain that it was not before we were 16. Now, let’s go back to the high school of penises we mentioned in our first post. Considering that only 35% of the people who answered our Instagram polls could label the biological parts of a penis, these dick doodles were not an exercise of scientific expertise. These penises had one purpose: sex. And because we condemn sexual intercourse among underage pupils, let’s assume that the majority of this sexual curiosity was developed independently. These dick drawings represented the wonderful world of masturbation.

So, in short, unlike myself and Georgie, I’m imagining that most boys were orgasming much earlier than the age of 16, or at least trying to.

SEXPECTATION V REALITY

There are plenty of different attitudes toward sex. It might be your favourite hobby; you might have sex with men or women or both or none; you might exclusively associate it with love or relationships or you might sleep with someone new each weekend. Frankly, it's no one else's business what you get up to in the bedsheets, and your attitude is not invalid just because it differs from someone else's (within reason, but we won't go into that). That said, however liberal your attitude, we are all part of a culture where the gap between what we see online or TV versus what is realistically plausible is ever blurred.

WHAT MAKES "GOOD SEX" GOOD?

I came out of my bedroom to the sound of applause and cheering. My housemates were waiting for me to do the ‘walk of shame’ downstairs after my one-night-stand had left. They played a clashing tune on the piano and sang a horrible song they’d managed to put together. (Yes, we had a piano in our student house. Yes, we pretty much exclusively made use of it at 2am after a few glasses of wine. Sorry, neighbours.) I’ll spare you the lyrics.

HEAD AND TALES: Sex Shop Stories from an Ex (Top) Employee

Picture: @anomiedesigns

Forget small-talk and comments on the weather, imagine getting paid to deliver a customer service that promotes cock rings and nipple clamps! We interviewed a previous sex shop employee and ginger-haired sensual goddess, who also happens to be our best friend – Georgia Butler – who has given us inside stories, her views on sex and sex toys, and how they've changed since her employment. She doesn't disappoint...

PLEASURE IS FOR PENISES, RIGHT?

(artwork by the amazing rosi-illustration.com, check her OUT)

Now I don’t know about you, but my high school was absolutely saturated with penises. They were drawn in the textbooks, on lockers, scratched into desks; there were blowjob jokes and competitions to see whose was the biggest and so many synonyms for knobs and dicks and cocks and willies in the girls' toilets that the cubicles were practically a phallus thesaurus.

 In fact, I’m pretty sure that I knew what a scrotum was before I knew what a clitoris was.

Think about that.

I don’t own a scrotum.